Confessions of a first time mama – the truth about pregnancy part 2

So it’s been a good few weeks since I last blogged – this pregnancy lark makes you quite tired (!) and everything has been put on the back burner other than the basics of work, sleep, eating and seeing a few people now and again!

So I’ve pulled out 4 main topics that sum up the last few months for me that the books and fancy pants blogs of the beautiful don’t tell you – I’m sure there is plenty more I will learn over the coming weeks & I look forward to sharing that in due course!

Diet & Fitness

So I’m now 33 weeks pregnant, feeling like a whale and the biscuit consumption hasn’t slowed at all – God I love a biscuit… I did have the pre conceived view that I would be some healthy earth mother who would eat healthy nourishing foods and go swimming three times a week whilst being all calm and lovely and that… oh how I laugh now at how little I knew about just how ruddy knackered I would be!

Don’t get me wrong, I do go to Yoga weekly and do a good couple of miles walking every day (so my fitness watch thingy tells me) and I eat pretty healthily (other than the biscuits), but the thrashing about like Shamu in the local pool hasn’t happened for a good couple of months – and do you know what I don’t even feel guilty or worried about it.

I went, I thrashed, I kept up a good pace (I mean I even sweated in the pool – what is that about?), but right now I don’t have the energy to stand and put make up on in the mornings, let alone try and wrangle myself into a swimming costume and get myself to the baths! So I’m saving myself the guilt and looking forward to going again when I feel well and able.

I think as Mum’s to be and as Mum’s, we can be so overtly critical of ourselves and the standards we “should” be obtaining that we can lose sight of the good things we are actually doing – and right now I am doing a pretty good job of growing an actual human life! I eat a balanced diet of home cooked food with snacks every day, I don’t smoke or drink and I haven’t yet turned into a lazy sloth like beast – yes I have a ridiculous sweet tooth that didn’t exist before pregnancy, but as I’m not replacing meals with Maryland cookies I don’t think I need to be worrying just yet!

Hormones & Crying

Well they really don’t tell you about this do they?! I know I mentioned it in Part 1, but jeez it just gets better ladies! The first 6 month tears have nothing on the bad boys that are about to arrive – be prepared! I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my entire life – sometimes its full blown sobbing, most days it’s snivvly weeping and genuinely I would say 98% , let’s be honest here, 99.9% of the time it is over nothing in particular at all.

My other half has the patience of an absolute saint right now, how he copes with my ridiculousness I genuinely don’t know.

What I do know is I have a keeper right here!

So far, here’s a list of things I have cried over (that I can remember):

-      Adverts

-      TV programmes (not normal sad ones, I mean crying over bloody       MasterChef)

-      Not being able to take my trousers off without help

-      Ditto to socks

-      Having to write a food shopping list (it felt stressful)

-      Deciding what to eat (too much choice/not enough choice)

-      Being hungry

-      Travelling (I hate trains)

-      People being nice to me

-      People being mean to me

-      People commenting on my pregnancy/bump

-      Dropping food on the floor that I can’t reach to pick up

-      Because I hadn’t started cooking yet (yip totally ridiculous)

-      Not being able to get comfortable in bed

-      Not being able to walk quick enough (the only person annoyed at      my pace was me)

And my most stupid:

-      Because I couldn’t climb a mountain or do a hill climb and 7        mile walk.

The last one is genuinely stupid – we were on a family holiday in Scotland and my other half had taken the two older kids (my lovely step-kids) for a climb and then a walk in the driving rain and wind.

I on the other hand sat on my own in a coffee shop with unlimited decaf tea, biscuits, a comfy sofa and my kindle for company – sounds like heaven right? And do you know what, it was and I’m sure I will look back when baby arrives and long for a few hours like that. 

But right there and then I wanted to be up the pigging mountain getting wet and freezing more than anything!

Hormones are a weird thing, I knew I couldn’t do it and that’s what made me have a little self-absorbed cry – that sense of not being able to do the things you’ve always been able to is incredibly frustrating, so strap yourselves in ladies, it only gets worse! Which brings me on to my next key point:

The power of rest

Of course everyone knows you get bigger during pregnancy, that is clear to even the most unaware. What I didn’t realise I just how much my size would hinder me. Again nothing I’ve read has alluded to this at all other than thinking I might struggle putting my socks on or bending over right at the end of pregnancy.

What I didn’t think would be a challenge would be walking, standing, even being sat at times has made me breathless – that was a bloody shock I tell you!

It doesn’t help that I am a stubborn independent old goat, and I loathe asking for help if I am able to do something myself. Laziness is one of my most disliked traits, so not being able to do things, having to ask others to do them for me and then think people might see me as lazy has driven me crazy! (Just to add, nobody has called me lazy, if anything I infuriate most friends and family with my constant running around and knackering myself out, but it has come to the point where I cannot do this anymore)

For the past couple of months, I have had to be super strict with myself and force myself to rest. I even implemented Sunday rest days for a few weeks after hectic work weeks.

This has been like actual torture for me… I’ve had to give the other half strict orders to make sure I don’t do anything because I know how crap I am at resting up, but it has done me the world of good and made sure I haven’t’ crippled my hips and back entirely.

This bank holiday weekend in fact, I have spent a good day and a half sat/lying down after overdoing it massively on Saturday – I walked a good 7.5 miles over the course of a day and I wore 5” heels for some of it!

The first half a day I coped quite well snuggled up in bed, today however has been a different story and I’ve been trying my hardest to get involved and crack on - much to even my own annoyance.

What I would say is, get to know your own body during pregnancy, no one will give you a medal for continuing to do everything you did and everyone will understand if you speak up when you can’t do it anymore. It’s tough if you’re used to being in control, but is needed and we all need to man up an accept it.

Finally, let’s talk about Size & Bump.

According to my midwife my bump is growing perfectly, I am on track in terms of size and all is well. However, my own perception of my bump can be different – I think it has a bit of a weird shape (not that anyone else can see what I mean) and I struggle with certain maternity clothes because of how I’m carrying – over the bump jeans look dreadful on me and I feel like they are cutting me in half constantly – my bump is quite high.

It also doesn’t help when people feel the need to comment on the size of you, your bump and generally give you “feedback” that is neither asked for nor wanted! This will happen, be prepared to either have rage or cry – both are perfectly acceptable in this situation!

I have found clothes that fit me well after many online ordering and trying on sessions (Topshop under bump jeans and H&M tops have been a proper God send) and they certainly make me feel better about myself. Some tops however have now got to the point where my belly is beginning to hang out of the bottom like Onslow from Keeping up Appearances (showing my age now) so I have had to buy more bits as my pregnancy has progressed! Nobody needs to see this as a look!

My big tip on clothing would be, not to buy too much stuff in your second trimester, as whilst it will fit you lovely at that point, as you move in to your third trimester, your weight will distribute to other areas in addition to your bump so they won’t necessarily fit you the same. As an example, I feel like my back now looks like sausages in anything that is too tight, so I bought tops a size up to make me feel more comfortable.

I also bought THE most amazing dress from ASOS to wear to a christening which had an actual cape attached to it, so it covered said back issues and I felt like a super hero – winning!! 

Also don’t buy too many baggy clothes – the bigger you get the bigger you will look side on – think Princess Diana and her smocks in the 80’s!

What I would say is that a lot of people will tell you not to buy too much as you’re only pregnant for 9 months. I say stuff that – buy whatever you need to buy to feel comfortable and lovely – you are going through so much, if buying 5 extra tops makes you smile a little more and feel a bit more like you then do it! There are plenty of good places out there that aren’t too expensive and there are loads of good re-sale sites too!

I think that pretty much covers the last couple of months. We have completed the NCT classes, and are now in full swing sorting the nursery out and getting the hospital bags packed and ready and I have less than 4 weeks left before I finish work – it’s all suddenly getting very very real! EEEK!

Written by Rhi from @rhifreshing_